Saturday, 19 April 2014

The royal way

I'm thinking of changing careers and becoming a royal.

Now, I know what you're thinking:  I'm just saying that because of the hype generated by having Prince William and Kate in the country.  Not so.  I've been contemplating it for some time.  

The move would be slightly at odds with my views that Australia should become a republic, but I'm prepared to live with this philosophical dilemma.

Britain's House of Windsor isn't my first pick either.   I'm thinking of somewhere a bit more fun, like the Netherlands, Sweden or Denmark (would two Australian Danish royals be too much?).

And I'm not walking in the role blindly.  Like any good job hunt, I've done a list of pros and cons: 

1.  Instant property portfolio (hop on the property ladder at the very top)

2.  Job for life (a rare thing these days)

3.  Job comes with accommodation and other fringe benefits (I may never have to pay for anything ever again)

4.  Buildings, bridges, boats and other things are named after you (a great boost to the ego)

5.  You don't have to actually run the country any more (constitutional monarchies are a wonderful idea!)

6.   I'm assuming you're invited to Eurovision every year

7.  You've got good looking security

1.  The world is constantly watching (so no more wandering around in my bathrobe?)

2.  You get a lot of crap gifts you'll never use, including dodgy portraits of yourself (I've got a mirror!)

3.  You have to mingle with the masses and sometimes even touch them

4.  Every minute of your day seems planned (when's "me time" kick in?)

5.  It appears you have to go to church a lot 

6.  You have to have kids (who will probably overthrow you)

7.  There's always a risk of revolution

No comments:

Post a Comment